Don't Mess Up, Be Good

TRYING Chapter 3: As a kid I learned that "being good" would not only make my own life easier, but it brought stability to my otherwise unstable family.

In the last two entries in this Series I reflected on the two most formative pastors in my life growing up.

Pastor John showed me what compassionate caring looked like, and how a pastor can show up for people right where they are without judgment. And Pastor Rob showed me how one can apply their intelligence to the world of Biblical studies and theology, and how a pastor can be someone that other people admire and look to for answers.

I loved (and still love) both these men for different reasons. And they both planted seeds in my heart that would one day bloom into my own desire to become a pastor.

But today I want to add another layer to the Colby Cake of how and why I became a pastor.

Specifically, the layer of “being good.”

BE THE BEST AT BEING GOOD

Last week I wrote about my obsession with being smart (or at least, feeling like I was smart).

Such feelings of intellectual superiority (warranted or not) gave me a sense of identity. It provided a target for me to aim at, one that offered me a sense of validation. You might say that I came to believe I had value to people because I had something to offer them.

Likewise, in addition to aiming at the target of Smart, I also spent untold hours woodshedding being Good.

My developing brain as a kid believed that a “Good kid” was a “Lovable kid.” And since most Enneagram experts think we develop our primary type pretty early on, as a Type Three I was determined to be the best at being Good.