Five Questions With: AUTHOR, John Pavlovitz
In his new book "Worth Fighting For," John Pavlovitz has written a playbook for Christians who strive to ensure that kindness triumphs over toxicity.
Welcome to my series, “Five Questions With,” where I introduce you to people from various industries and walks of life by asking them five questions about their work.
The month of April will be, Five Questions With: AUTHORS.
I hope you enjoy getting to know these incredible authors, and please consider supporting them by checking out their books.
John is writer, pastor, and activist from Wake Forest, North Carolina committed to equality, diversity, and justice—both inside and outside faith communities. In addition to his Substack, “The Beautiful Mess,” he has written numerous books including:
His newest book, Worth Fighting For: Finding Courage and Compassion When Cruelty is Trending is “a stirring playbook for Christians who strive to ensure that kindness triumphs over toxicity” -Foreword Reviews.
I’ve long been an admirer of John’s fire for justice and his ability to write both searing critiques of toxic religion, and, heart-filled compassionate please for love and mercy.
Keep reading to learn more about John Pavlovitz and Worth Fighting For.
Enjoy.
QUESTION 1: Tell me about the moment you realized this book needed to be written?
In many ways this book is the result of thousands of quiet moments over the past few years as I sat with disparate people from all over this country whether in person or online and hearing them describe their exhaustion and despair.
Between a pandemic that most of us haven't properly processed, the collective grief we've all experienced, and the incessant tribalism of the political landscape, the sheer scope of the pain out there is something I felt and wanted to speak into.
This book is meant primarily to be an encouragement to compassionate people who are understandably struggling to keep going.
QUESTION 2: What have you found to be the most common things that break relationships? And is there any hope of those being restored?
I think there's been a revelation over the last few years: an uncovering of what might have previously been hidden in the name of decorum.
We've all discovered things about our families, friends, faith communities, and neighbors that we either weren't aware of or underestimated. I think each of us have had to reexamine our respective tribes, and in some cases found the differences that have surfaced to be irreconcilable.
I like to believe that nearly all relationships can be restored—but that not all can be restored right now.
Many differences can be navigated when there is a mutual posture of curiosity and respect. If that exists, the possibility of repair still remains. However, some present separations and disconnections are necessary in order for people to step more fully into the most authentic version of themselves. Sometimes those relationships are the collateral damage of us being better allies and activists.
Human beings of compassion always live in the tensions between our convictions and our relationships, knowing when to lean in and fight for one over the other.
QUESTION 3: In your book you talk about loving toxic people from a distance. How do you describe what makes a person toxic? And should we discover that we DO have a toxic person in our lives, can you give us some advice on how to love them?
Toxicity in this context is really about the subjective experience of being in any kind of relationship with another person, about what it does within us as much as anything.
It might be someone's theological perspective or a political affiliation that we find so counter to our values that relational proximity is unhealthy for us because of the tension and anger it generates.
As I share in the book, distancing ourselves from another person doesn't have to be accompanied by malice or harsh words. We can affirm the humanity of the other while recognizing that we may not be morally compatible.
Finally, part of the answer may be in us trying to tap into deeper reservoirs of empathy and understanding for that person.
QUESTION 4: What was the hardest chapter in this book to write and why?
The hardest sections of the book are those where I am observing or critiquing or challenging the Christian Church, or people who profess to be followers of Jesus.
I live in the tensions of fighting both with and for my faith tradition simultaneously.
As someone who has ministered in the Church for three decades, I have a level of understanding and mercy for people there, especially because I know what they've been taught. I know the pull of spiritual community, and I know how difficult it can be to express doubts or to deviate from the norm.
So, while I am often the most direct and confrontational with Christians, it's because I realize how critical it is to emulate the compassionate heart of Jesus and how destructive it is when we don't.
QUESTION 5: How do you make sense of the trend of cruelty that has emerged from a sub-culture (aka, evangelical christianity) that—at least many of us were told—was supposed to be the opposite of that?
Well, the easy answer (though it may be the best one) is that the Church is made up of flawed and failing people all trying to navigate a continual minefield of stresses and traumas, all while pushing back a looming existential crisis.
I think the Evangelical Church in America has had a particularly difficult journey, in part because the American Dream is often in direct conflict with the Sermon on the Mount, and as much as we've wanted to be a counterculture movement, the Church has tried to have Jesus and the culture simultaneously.
I think organized Christianity isn't immune from all the insidious and seductive pitfalls that come with power and influence. The difference is, given the compassionate and loving Jesus at the center of our tradition, that disconnect is more alarming and hypocritical than anywhere else.
Thanks for sharing John!!
Now, go get yourself a copy of Worth Fighting For today.
ONE MORE THING…
For the entire month of April I’m giving away my Mini-Course on the Genesis 19 clobber passage for free.
You just need to go here… enter your name and email address…
and you’ll get instant access to the full course on the destruction of Sodom and Gomorrah.
And learn how these ancient cities were NOT destroyed because of homosexuality… despite what you may have been told.