Is Being Gay an "Unforgivable" Sin?

Someone once had a pastor tell them that being gay is an "unforgivable" sin. Can we talk about that, please?

(Titled, “Audience Questions,” this series on Perspective Shift is me doing a digital version of my favorite thing about live events: responding to people’s questions. Because as often happens, a person’s particular question has a way of illuminating universal questions that we are all asking. If you’re a Paid Subscriber and you want to Submit a question, you can do that here. Not a Paid Subscriber yet? Perhaps it is time.)

---

The following question got asked by an audience member when I was in Iowa doing a presentation of “Not an Oxymoron: Why LGBTQ Affirming Christianity Makes Sense.” I didn’t get a chance to respond to questions that evening, so I’m gonna answer some of them here!

(If you prefer to watch/listen instead of read, you can see my response here on YouTube)

AUDIENCE QUESTION

I have heard some pastors say that being gay is an unforgivable sin.

Where is that coming from?

MY RESPONSE

Okay, three things come up in response to this.

1. The matter of “being gay” being a sin or not

2. The concept of an “unforgivable sin”

3. Where someone might get this idea from

Let’s discuss this, shall we?

Is Being Gay a Sin?

Before we address whether or not “being gay” is an unforgivable sin, let’s begin by first addressing whether it even is a sin.

Obviously, if you’ve been around me/my work for any amount of time, then you know my answer to this: No, being gay is NOT a sin.

Setting aside for a moment a larger (and very necessary, in my mind) conversation on “what even is sin,” let’s just assume that the person making this statement is here using the term “sin” to mean something like, “wrong” or “disordered” or “against God’s design/order.”

In that case, for the question “is being gay a sin,” at stake is the idea that by the mere fact that a person has innate desires and attractions for people of the same sex (aka, “being gay”) is inherently wrong or against God.

To say it again, “being” gay simply means that a person has internal attractions for someone of the same sex. We are not yet talking about whether or not that person acts on those desires or impulses, we are simply establishing that they exist. In other words, a person can be considered “gay” if those internal, innate attractions exist.

So then, what’s being presumed here is that a gay person is sinning simply by existing. Simply by virtue of being alive, and having thoughts and desires and emotions spontaneously arrive in their consciousness, this person is viewed (by the pastors in the above question) as somehow sinning, or being in sin, or whatever.

That’s just dumb, right? Like, you see that?

The pastors in question (and all those who think like this) are not here referring to the concept of “original sin,” which is the notion that all people are born in to a state of falleness or sinfulness. They would say that, too, of course. But in this case they are taking it step further to say, “being gay is a sin.” If all they meant by that was, “we are all born in to sin,” then they should equally be saying that “being straight is a sin,” and no on is saying that.

No, they are distinguishing between the two, and they are uniquely calling out the idea of “being gay” (ie, having innate attractions for the same-sex) as being a kind of “sin” distinct from simply “original sin.”

Again… that’s dumb.

Attractions are not sinful. Desires are not sinful. Thoughts and ideas are not sinful. What a person does with their thoughts, the actual actions they engage in, those have the capacity to be sinful or not.

“Being” gay is no more sinful than “being” straight.

Most likely, if pressed, the person who makes that claim is actually thinking or intending to say, “two guys doing gay sexy sex stuff… now that is sin.” They just don’t know how to, or don’t want to, say it so clearly, and so they mask it in lazy comments like, “being gay.”

So then, aer “gay sex acts” a sin?

Good question. I answer that with a question: are “straight sex acts” a sin?

Once you have your answer to that, I think you’ll find the answer to the first question.

And if a person wants to (mis)use the Bible to justify why they think it’s always wrong for any/all same-sex sex stuff, then, well, that’s what UnClobber is for. To demonstrate that no, in fact, the Bible does not condemn a person for “being gay,” nor does it condemn or judge two people in a loving, consensual relationship who also happen to be the same gender.

Moving on…

What is an “Unforgivable” Sin?

This idea/term/concept comes from an interaction Jesus once had with some religious leaders who accused him of being a servant of Satan. Jesus was casting out demons and healing people, and those who opposed his ministry started spreading rumors that the source of his power actually comes from Satan. To which Jesus replied,

23 "How can Satan throw Satan out?

24 A kingdom involved in civil war will collapse.

25 And a house torn apart by divisions will collapse.

26 If Satan rebels against himself and is divided, then he can't endure. He's done for.

-Mark 3:23-26

In other words, y’all are ridiculous. I’m literally out here fighting against the very thing you’re saying I’m working on behalf of.

Then Jesus added,

28 I assure you that human beings will be forgiven for everything, for all sins and insults of every kind.

29 But whoever insults the Holy Spirit will never be forgiven. That person is guilty of a sin with consequences that last forever."

While a lot of arguing has transpired over the years around the “unforgivable sin” I actually think it’s pretty straightforward.

People were witnessing the goodness that Jesus was manifesting (people were finding wholeness, restored community, healing, love and connection, they were recipients of kindness and grace and mercy), people were seeing all this good fruit and they were calling it bad.

Jesus referred to it as “insulting the Holy Spirit,” which I think is really funny and really poetic. I don’t actually think the Spirit of God can take offense (can you imagine! lol), but you can get the point he’s making.

It’s similar to the point being made to Peter in Acts 10 when he has the vision of the unclean animals and he hears God say “eat,” and Pete’s like, “no way! That’s unclean!” And the voice says, “don’t you dare call unclean what I call clean.”

Peter was “insulting” God.

Likewise, the religious leaders above were insulting God by staring directly at the manifestation of Divine goodness and mercy and love, and saying, “AaaaahhH! It’s the devil!!”

When Jesus called that being “guilty of a sin with consequences that last forever,” I think he’s just bluntly naming that, hey, as long as you continue to call unclean what is clearly and obviously clean, then you’re just never going to get it. You’ll feel separated from God, and at odds with Spirit’s work in the world, for as long as that is your posture.

Forgiveness in Greek literally means “to set free.” Therefore, non-forgiveness looks like being trapped, locked, held back. Which is exactly what it’s like when a person sees the world with their myopic lenses of a small god, with a small family, set for only a special few.

Keep calling “bad” what is clearly “good” and you’ll be trapped in your cage of fear forever.

Where Would Someone Get This Idea?

Finally, the original question-asker wants to know where a person might get this idea from (that “being gay is an unforgivable sin”).

Honestly, I have no idea. It’s such bad theology, and severely Biblically illiterate, that I’m not sure where to start.

Most likely the pastors that have said this are (as mentioned above) simply being lazy with their words. If pressed, I doubt that what they’re actually saying is, “homosexual people are guilty of a sin that cannot be forgiven.” Because, again, the level of preposterousness of that equation is simply beyond.

Rather, I’d guess that the pastors in question are just trying to articulate their conviction that “a person who lives openly as a gay person, and engages in same-sex relationships, are living in unrepentance, and therefore since they are not repentant then they are not forgiven, and since they’re not forgiven then they are not justified, and since they are not justified then they haven’t been washed clean by the blood of Jesus, and since they’re not washed clean then they are still separated by God as a sinner, and therefore they will spend eternity in hell.”

You can see how it feels easier/cleaner for them to just say, “being gay is unforgivable sin.” Lazy, and ignorant… but still, you can kinda see where they’re coming from.

So bottom line, where is it coming from?

It’s coming from:

• Bad theology (they think “being gay” is sinful)

• Bad scholarships (they think the Bible justifies their position)

• Bad science (they probably don’t understand human sexuality)

• Their own repression (meaning, most Christians aren’t in touch with their own sexual selves)

• Shame (why else do we spend so much time judging others? Cause we are burdened by our own shame)

• Ignorance (they likely don’t know a gay person all that well)

• Fear (the thing that is behind all of our mistakes, miscalculations, errors, and offenses)

---

See/Hear this Response on YouTube

As I answer questions from the audience, in addition to sharing them here via Perspective Shift I’ll also be filming them for YouTube (and IG and FB and TT and X).

If that’s more your jam, here ya go!

---

Want these Audience Questions delivered to your inbox?

Subscribe to Perspective Shift today!

Curious about the topic of homosexuality and the Bible?

My work with UnClobber exists in a variety of formats:

• a Book

• Online Courses

• PDF Cheat sheets

• One Day workshops (I fly to you to present!)