Post-Divorce, this Low just Gets Deeper and Deeper
Divorces each have lows and highs. And some lows, over time, get better. But this one? This one only seems to get worse.
I don’t know how many readers/subscribers I have who are divorced. And of those who are, if any of you are the “other parent.” So maybe this post will go largely unread and/or un-appreciated. But if even just one of you are the “other parent,” just know that I see you. I feel you. I’m sorry. It sucks.
In case it’s not obvious, divorce is one of those things in life where you can’t truly grasp or comprehend what it will be like unless and until you experience it.
I mean that both in terms of the lows and the highs.
Obviously each person and each couple will experience a different set of lows/highs (or pros/cons) of their separation. Two and a half years into my own divorce, there are some lows that were lower than I could’ve guessed, and some highs that I could not have seen coming.
Lows that were (far) worse than I could’ve guessed include:
the heartbreak of the person you love no longer wanting to be with you;
the disruption of a life you’ve grown accustomed to;
the depression of feeling the weights of shame and failure;
the fear of not knowing what will come next;
Highs that I would not have predicted include:
discovering (and then reclaiming!) how much of yourself you’d lost in the relationship;
healing from years of painful cycles;
the opportunity to gain clarity on who you are and what you want in life;
finding new love that makes more sense and fits better with who you’ve always been and who you are becoming;
Divorce is a trip, man.
A constant swirling of head and heart.
Now, the lows I listed above have, for the most part, found sporadic trends in the upward direction. In other words, the pain and sadness that were so acute in the early days/weeks/months are less intense—thank God.
However, one low in particular has only grown deeper as time has passed.
I’m referring to the low of…
Keep reading with a 7-day free trial
Subscribe to Perspective Shift by Colby Martin to keep reading this post and get 7 days of free access to the full post archives.