Reason #8: You'll Regret Not Doing it Sooner
Every pastor/person I've met who eventually came out of the Theological Closet just ended up wishing they'd done it sooner.
This is reason eight of ten in my efforts to convince silently affirming pastors, leaders, and influences to come out of the theological closet and be clear in their inclusive theology.
Reason #8 - You’ll Regret Not Doing it Sooner
Over the past decade as I’ve done this work I’ve met and/or read the accounts of countless pastors who eventually came out of their theological closet.
Do you know what I hear every single time? (Well, of course you do, because it’s the title of this post)
They all regret not doing it sooner.
As I’ve already established, most pastors stayed silent in their churches due to fear (loss of job; loss of people; loss of money, etc) until finally either they broke or something broke them.
Regardless of just how many of their fears came true, regardless of how many people they lost or whether they lost their job or not, they all wish they would’ve made the shift sooner.
You may not believe me, but it’s true.
Even the pastors who stayed silent not so much out of fear but because they were earnestly trying to move the church toward full inclusion, even they wished they would’ve moved at a quicker pace.
There’s often a belief that moving at a slower pace will help bring more people along. Which makes sense, I get why people think that. But I’m not sure the fruits of such effort reveal that going more slowly makes much of a difference.
When leaders go at a slow pace to try and “bring more people along,” at the end of it they still feel like, Ugh, I don’t know that it was worth it to take so long.
You may recall that in Reason #7, which states that non-affirming Christians have plenty of options when it comes to communities of faith and leaders to follow, I urged you to keep in mind that it’s the queer and ally communities who need more leaders to change the direction of their churches. They are the ones with the sense of urgency.
What often happens is we prioritize the feelings and preferences of the powerful over and above the experience and belonging of the powerless.
And I’m just not convinced that’s the best way.
Imagine how powerful a statement it would be to the LGBTQ kids and adults (and their families) in your community when you say to them,
“I know we’re going to lose some people over this, but I want you to know that I’d rather lose those who have plenty of other options in town for churches than continue to ask you to wait and be okay with the scraps from the table.”
Shivers.
Why go public with your affirming beliefs?
Because the longer you wait, the more regret you’ll have that you didn’t do so sooner.
What do you think?
Does this reason have merit? Do you agree with it? Why/why not?
What would you add to this?
Feel free to share publicly (via comments) or privately (via sending me a message).
Help Spread the Word
If you’re like me, and you believe more people need to come out of the theological closet and be clear and public in their affirmation of LGBTQ people, then help spread the word by sharing this article either directly by emailing your people, and/or posting on social media about it.
Let’s get this in front of the eyes that need to see it!
Why is sex so confusingl? I wish that Jesus would of talked about sex in the Bible. I guess, maybe because he didn't talk about sex, he left it for us to figure out.