Reason #9: Better Short-Term Pain than Long-Term Withering

Warning, I get a bit fired up with this one 😳

This is reason nine of ten in my efforts to convince silently affirming pastors, leaders, and influences to come out of the theological closet and be clear in their inclusive theology.

Here’s why I’m writing these.

Reason #9 - Better a Year or Two of Pain Than a Lifetime of Disintegrated, Soul Withering, Lukewarm Compromise

This reason might get a bit spicy. I (kind of) apologize in advance.

If you missed my first article on this topic then you may not realize that not only is the phenomenon of the Silently Affirming Pastor personal to me (as I was one), but I have it on good authority that the guy who fired me in 2011 eventually also changed his theology, but has chosen to stay quiet about it.

All the while continuing to grow his evangelical megachurch.

When Jesus said, “What does it profit a man to gain the world but forfeit his soul,” I sometimes think of my old boss. And I think of all the other Silently Affirming Pastors who justify and rationalize away their silence. (Re-read Reason #5 if this paragraph didn’t cause you to squirm in your seat just a bit)

I especially get hot and bothered by the Silently Affirming pastors if they are not at least trying to move the needle of Inclusion behind the scenes. At least that I could almost respect. (BTW: I suspect this might be what Andy Stanley has been doing all these years, as he is pretty well known to be Silently Affirming. Those who know him and trust his sincerity think he really is earnestly working to move his church toward inclusion… but bro is taking forrrrreeevvvvvrrr).

But as for those who just don’t want to pay the cost for going public with their theology?

How is that not exactly the kind of posture Jesus was describing with the whole “forfeiting their soul” in pursuit of “gaining the world?”

If this describes you—or even comes close to describing you—trust me when I say,

it is better for you to endure a year or two of difficulty, pain, loss, stress, heartache, and chaos than it is for you to continue on this path of disintegration.

Setting aside all the ways your going-public would impact other people (especially the marginalized in your community), you can (and will!) be put back together again should your life crumble as a result of coming out of the theological closet. Yes, it will suck (I’ve been there, I know), but you will be okay.

You’re a preacher of the Gospel after all, are you not?

You understand the Christocentric pattern of death and resurrection, yes?

You believe that resurrection always follows death, right?

New life springs from the old. This is how it goes. You’ve preached countless sermons on this.

But the danger of staying silent, because you fear the repercussions, means that you are likely building callouses over your heart and soul that will far outlast the damage and suffering that just ripping off the bandaid would cause.

The coverup is worse than the lie.

And brother/sister, make no mistake, you are, in a way, covering up a lie.

Don’t glaze your eyes. Stay with me.

When’s the last time you read James 4?

13 Pay attention, you who say, "Today or tomorrow we will go to such-and-such a town. We will stay there a year, buying and selling, and making a profit."

14 You don't really know about tomorrow. What is your life? You are a mist that appears for only a short while before it vanishes.

15 Here's what you ought to say: "If the Lord wills, we will live and do this or that."

16 But now you boast and brag, and all such boasting is evil.

James is saying, “Listen up those of you who think you’ve got plenty of time in the future to do all sorts of wonderful things. You know nothing. You cannot predict that.”

You are a mist, my man.

But here is James’ actual point, and (I say this as lovingly as I can).

Here’s what I want haunting you:

17 It is a sin when someone knows the right thing to do and doesn't do it.

You know the right thing here. Stop pretending otherwise.

While I can (and did) appreciate the nuance of being a leader responsible for people beyond just yourself, at some point you’re going to need to stop using that as an excuse.

Leadership is hard, we all know that. Sometimes you have to make hard decisions, (I know you know this as well).

But on this issue?

I believe that you know there is a RIGHT decision to make, and that is to be honest with your people about the fact that the church has been wrong in its discrimination of and rejection toward LGBTQ people.

Repent.

Change your mind on this.

Do better.

Why go public with your affirming beliefs?

Because it’s the right thing to do, and not doing so is sin. Furthermore, the wellbeing and health of your own soul is on the line here. The longer you wait, the more disintegrated you become. Don’t go that way, it’s not worth it.

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What do you think?

Does this reason have merit? Do you agree with it? Why/why not?

What would you add to this?

Feel free to share publicly (via comments) or privately (via sending me a message).

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Help Spread the Word

If you’re like me, and you believe more people need to come out of the theological closet and be clear and public in their affirmation of LGBTQ people, then help spread the word by sharing this article either directly by emailing your people, and/or posting on social media about it.

Let’s get this in front of the eyes that need to see it!