Fun Fact: UnClobber came out ten years ago this week, and it has sold as many (and some years more!) copies each year as the first year in publication.
Which tells me two things:
Clearly this particular topic is not (yet) a settled matter in the church. Sales indicate it’s even more popular today than it was in 2016.
Something about this book—whether it’s my own personal story and/or the accessible, intuitive, and researched handling of the clobber passages—still resonates with people.
The other day I retold the story of how UnClobber came into existence. I’d call it a coincidence, a chance occurrence, a right-time-right-place kind of thing…
but then again,
I don’t know that I believe in all that.
You see, I’m somewhere in between “God Orchestrates Everything That Happens Like Chess Pieces on a Gameboard” and “God Wound-Up Creation Like a Clock and Now Just Sits Back and Observes.”
I don’t think things are random. Probably.
Nor are they perfectly planned and executed by an all powerful Being. Probably.
Truth is I don’t know how it all works (and you shouldn’t trust me if I said I did). When it comes to things like how my book deal came together, as I wrote the other day, I believe my choices to take risks, be vulnerable, and stay open created a fertile ground in which something really, really beautiful could emerge.
So if landing a book deal was lucky, then I guess I side with the research that suggests you make your own luck. If God does and/or can make things happen, then maybe he can only work with pieces that are in movement.
Sit around and wait for miracles? Not sure that does much.
Perhaps Michael Scott said it best:
These past few weeks I’ve been reflecting on the ten years since UnClobber came out.
I’ve been flooded with memories of all the people I’ve met, emails I’ve read, and stories I’ve been witness to.
Stories of the kind of impact UnClobber has had on people. Because that’s really what I care about. More than the sales numbers (over 50k in ten years) or the royalties (about $5k/year… a nice little check, but obviously ain’t no one gettin’ rich over here), I am truly moved and humbled by the number of people’s hearts, minds, and lives that have been changed.
That’s where the magic lays, baby.
And as I’ve been thinking about that magic, I’ve been thinking about the most common kinds of feedback I’ve gotten from those who’ve read UnClobber.
If I had to boil it all down into three main buckets I’d say: There are theological, practical, and deeply personal reasons why UnClobber has connected with so many people over the years.
Here’s what I mean.
THEOLOGICAL REASONS
Unsurprisingly, one of the ways UnClobber has impacted people most is by casting a new and better vision for God, the Bible, and sexuality.
Theology (or, the study of God and religious beliefs) is how us finite humans attempt to wrap our minds around the Divine. For people of faith, how we think about God matters… a lot. And many Christians have been conditioned to see the Bible as the single most important (if not only) way that we can know God.
Therefore, what the Bible does or does not say about any topic is of great consequence.
For most of church history the traditional perspective has been: homosexuality is an aberration and abomination, and, the only kind of relationship God blesses are straight marriages. To back their positions the Church has used the Bible. Of course, I argue they have misused the Bible, and that’s the case UnClobber makes.
So for the past ten years, those looking to better understand the clobber passages (those six pesky, misunderstood, mistranslated, and misapplied Bible passages) have found a path forward. A path that doesn’t disregard the Bible, but goes straight at the heart of things.
Here’s how Harold in Ohio put it:
“As a clinical mental health therapist with a deep respect for the Bible I couldn’t just say, ‘the Bible is old fashioned and we should just embrace same sex relationships.’ I needed clarity with the clobber passages and UnClobber gave it! Your ministry has given me biblical permission to move from just tolerating LGBTQ siblings, to fully affirming them. This lifelong Catholic thanks you!”
People have read and shared UnClobber because it unlocks them from harmful ideas, and it introduces them to a God who loves them… just as they are.
In the words of Amanda from Palm Desert:
“I grew up as a gay kid in a church that didn’t want me. As a result, I learned to hate that part of me. When I realized I couldn’t change the fact I was gay, I felt I had to leave church and run away from God. But then I read UnClobber. It helped me understand what my heart knew had to be true: God created me to be me. Thank you for writing UnClobber, because in it I found a God who loved me.”
PRACTICAL REASONS
Practically speaking, I hear over and over again how UnClobber has equipped people (both LGTBQ and allies) to be better prepared for Thanksgiving tables, late night phone calls, and online interactions.
For example, Aliyah in San Francisco found new ways to start having conversations with her family:
“All I can say is—wow. God put your book in my hands for a reason. As an LGBTQ person surrounded by so much Christian hurt, it has given me the space to start having deeper conversations with my family. Thank you for UnClobber, it is helping thaw parts of my heart.”
Many of us raised in the church were told to always “be prepared to give an answer for the hope in our hearts” (1 Peter 3:15). Typically that meant having Bible verses memorized so we could proselytize at any given point.
And look, being able to articulate why you think a certain way is a wonderful thing. We just may no longer feel as though the thing we want to articulate is an apologetic defense for a narrow-minded God, or a fear and shame based narrative meant to convert people.
But knowing what to say when your old Evangelical church community confronts you about your support for LGBTQ equality?
Or when your grandpa is curious about your new boyfriend?
Or when your mom doesn’t understand why you’d turn your back on God for the ways of the world?
Being able to help people be prepared for those kinds of conversations? That’s incredible.
One of my favorite descriptions for UnClobber is when people call it “accessible.” Because I wrote this not for the ivory towers and not for those who love to pour over 400 page tomes. I wrote this for the everyday reader hoping to have some kind of rejoinder to that obnoxious and ignorant claim, “Well the Bible clearly says…”
Mike from South Carolina told me how it helps him know how to respond to his Evangelical friends and family:
“I’m a 62 year old gay man whose been married for 39 years to a wonderful woman. Together we have two sons and two grandchildren and while I’m still conflicted with being a gay Christian, I wanted to tell you how much I’ve gotten from UnClobber. You’ve helped me know what to say when Evangelicals ask about my sexuality. Thank you.”
PERSONAL REASONS
The last category of Reasons People Read UnClobber is for the personal transformation it affords.
Even more than the theology (which is great) and the equipping with how to talk to people (with is lovely), people tell me over and over and over again just what this book has meant for the wellbeing of their soul.
Recently I got to meet Timothy in Arkansas who told me:
“Before UnClobber I felt I had two choices: bury my true identity so that I could serve God, or, walk away from the church in my pursuit of being my true Self. UnClobber showed me a third way, where I can embrace who God made me to be AND serve him with all my heart. UnClobber played a huge role in my journey to accept my sexuality and reclaim my faith.”
Far, far too many LGBTQ people were given unjust and unfair ultimatums: either accept God or accept your sexuality, because you can’t have both.1
Which is, pardon my French, absolute and utter bulls***
Of COURSE you can identity as LGBTQ and also follow Jesus! It is a wild suggestion to say otherwise. Wild and, well, unbiblical—which is not a word I throw around often or lightly.
More than any other feedback, more than any other story, more than any other email/conversation/interaction I have with people who read UnClobber, nothing moves me more than when someone tells me how my book gave them permission to love God and love themselves.
That’s it.
That’s everything.
That’s the whole ballgame right there.
I agree with Jesus when he said that love is what matters most. Love God (with every single part of you!) and love your neighbor as you love yourself—and good luck figuring out how to love your neighbor if you can’t first learn to love your Self.
Knowing that people—thousands upon thousands of people—have found a way back home to themselves, back home to their faith, because of words I put on a page??
It’s a gift of grace far beyond what I could ever conceive.
I’m honored, humbled, and deeply grateful in ways I’m still learning to feel.
A TRUSTWORTHY GUIDE
Finally, if I had to pick a fourth bonus bucket, it’s profoundly meaningful to me when people tell me that UnClobber is one of the few books they feel confident and/or comfortable recommending to their friends and family.
They tell me how their dad wouldn’t read something written by a gay person (unfortunately, of course), and so it’s actually because I’m straight that some people give my book to friends and family.
Or they’ll tell me how their friends wouldn’t read something from a person who doesn’t take Scripture seriously, or who dismisses the Bible outright. So when folks hear that I’m a (former) evangelical who was trained in the Baptist world, and that I do my best to honor the sacred texts, it builds a kind of report and trustworthiness.
I know enough about this work and this world to know that in some ways, and for some people, my identity as a straight, cisgender, while guy can be a problem. We’ve taken up far too much of the space for far too long. So I’m constantly looking for ways to get out of the way, and/or elevate and highlight other voices. But I’ve learned to trust the many LGBTQ people who have these past ten years told me that they want me and need me to keep going in this work.
Heard. Thank you, Chef.
Recently I got this incredible message from Valerie in New York:
“As a former minister who was raised Catholic, for years my mantra was, ‘Lord, you’re either going to have a dead Christian or a gay one that loves you.’ I tried not acknowledging my Self to myself for a really long time, until I found freedom in Christ. UnClobber gave peace to over 50 years of church condemnation regarding my sexuality. There are few books I entrust to help other LGBTQ people out of the shadow, and yours is one.”
So from the bottom of my heart I want to say THANK YOU to everyone who has read UnClobber, who has shared it, who has gifted it, who has preached from it, who has recommended it, who has reviewed and rated and otherwise tried to get the word out there about it.
Thank you for supporting not just me and my work, but more so thank you for supporting the ongoing work of creating a better world through better beliefs.
Ten years down… and we’re only just getting started.
The UnClobber Initiative
Founded in 2024, The UnClobber Initiative is a ministry focused on:
Training on the clobber passages
Equipping churches for full inclusion
Coaching pastors and leaders
Creating resources for better beliefs
The UnClobber Initiative is what allows me to travel as much as I do, and to bring the good news of full inclusion to places all over the country.
If you’d like to learn more and/or make a tax-deductible donation today, visit The UnClobber Initiative.
The Follow-Up to UnClobber is Coming Soon
My dream of one day being a published author not only came true ten years ago, but then came true again with The Shift in 2020, and will come true for a third time this November with But What About.
But What About: The Most Asked Questions on Faith, the Bible, and LGBTQ Inclusion is releasing on Nov 17 (St. Martin’s Essentials) and picks up where UnClobber left off.
Once the clobber passages are dealt with, other people still have questions… reasonable, honest, sincere questions.
Not to mention, I’ve got some questions (or, suggestions) of my own—specifically about how the Bible makes all sorts of compelling arguments in favor of inclusion!
So if you’re looking to continue learning why LGBTQ inclusion is the logical conclusion as a follower of Jesus, make sure to get a copy of But What About.
Of course, Jesus did say something like that one time… except, it was that you cannot serve both God and Mammon (meaning, the love and pursuit of wealth and money). More Christians seem concerned about what Jesus never said (you can’t be gay and Christian) than they do what he actually DID say (being Christian and being rich is suuuuuuper complicated and challenging!)