When’s the last time someone handed you their business card and it changed your life?
For me, it was over 11 years ago (which I suppose is right around the time when people stopped using business cards altogether, but I digress).
Here’s the story.
Take the Risk
In November of 2014 I took a chance and submitted an application to deliver something called a 7:21 Talk at an upcoming conference called Christianity 21.
What’s a 7:21 Talk you ask?
It’s a mini-presentation in which you assemble 21 images that automatically advance every 20 seconds. You begin your talk with the first slide, and the crowd is instructed to start clapping you off the stage after your twenty first slide. 21 slides at 20 seconds each = 7 minutes. Hence, the 7:21 name.
At that point in my life I was an avid conference attender. Loved ‘em, soaked ‘em up. But I had never before been a speaker at a conference, so it felt pretty vulnerable to throw my name in the hat to give a 7 minute talk, especially considering there were some pretty big names slated to speak at this thing.
Weeks later when I got the email telling me my submission had been chosen I instantly got the butterflies. Though the conference was still more than a month away, I could already feel the nerves. (Fun Fact: even though I’ve given hundreds of sermons and presentations and conference-talks since then I still get nervous butterflies right before I speak.)
I set to work at once. Pouring through my photo albums; scouring Google images; trying to curate the 21 best pictures to guide people through the presentation.
And then, of course, I had to actually write and memorize my talk. It had to be precise. Locked in. I couldn’t follow any tangents, or get lost down any holes of rabbits (and you know I love a good rabbit hole). This thing had to be exactly seven minutes. Even now, when I watch the video of my talk, I realize I didn’t allocate time for audience laughter. Though I was grateful for their responses, I remember thinking, “Yes, I know, I’m hilarious… but shush! I gotta get to my next point!”
Speaking of watching the video of my talk, you can actually do that here. The conference didn’t record the sessions but my friend Mathew had the good instincts to whip out his phone really quick. Be warned, the audio isn’t great. But knowing what I know now—how that moment is probably one of the top five most life changing moments of my life—I’m so glad it got captured.
I’m also so glad I wore that purple argyle sweater 🤣
Sayonara Evangelical World
For those who didn’t just spend seven minutes watching my Talk (and straining to understand what I was saying), here’s a brief overview of what I said.
I told the story of how, in September of 2011, when President Obama signed the repeal for DADT (Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell), it led to me getting fired from the evangelical megachurch I worked at.
How?
Because the night of the repeal I decided to share a news article about it to my Facebook and I wrote,
“I’m glad this day finally came.”
But here’s the thing, at that time I was still in the theological closet.
Meaning, while I had personally shifted my views on the Bible and homosexuality about a year prior to that moment, professionally I had yet to come out. My church was yet unaware that Pastor Colby no longer held the traditional, anti-LGBTQ position.
Which explains why, when I posted what I did on Facebook, it led to congregational panic. Which then led to an emergency board meeting during which I was asked to give my views on sexuality and marriage.
It was then and there, on Friday Sept 24th, 20011, that I finally externalized my internal convictions: All people are beloved children of God!
Which then, as you might expect, led to being handed a letter of termination three days later.
Sayonara evangelical world.
From there I got a job as a Worship Pastor at a church in San Diego, but that place turned out to be led by a very unwell person who had a habit of hiring/firing people every two years.
That painful experience meant two things for me:
I discovered I had teh spiritual gift of getting fired—two times in two years! I know. Be jealous.
It opened the opportunity to start a house church, something I’d dreamt about for a long time.
So in the spring of 2014 a small band of amazing humans gathered in our San Diego living room and launched what would soon be called Sojourn Grace Collective, a progressive Christian church that I had the absolute privilege of pastoring for 8+ years.
The gist of my 7:21 Talk, then, was about the ways in which the fractured pieces of our lives can (and do!) often lead to the most beautiful things in our lives.
To end my seven minutes of storytelling about the downs and ups of my pastoral trajectory I said, “Maybe there’s something to this whole ‘resurrection’ thing after all.”
People clapped. Some cheered. I exhaled with relief and left the stage with a ginormous smile.
I did it.
I put myself out there, took a risk, showed up, opened up, and it was terrifyingly awesome.
If You’d Ever Like to Turn That in to a Book…
During the next break and as conference goers milled about, I noticed this woman make a beeline for me.
“I really enjoyed your presentation,” she said as she held out her business card. “My name is Jessica, and if you’d ever like to turn that story in to a book, let’s talk.”
I looked down. Clear as day, right next to her name, sat a logo I immediately recognized from my days in Academia: Westminster John Knox Press.
Then I noticed under her name it said, “Acquisitions Editor.”
Holy smokes.
An editor from a real life, respectable publishing house had just put her card in my hands and said, “Let’s talk.” 😱🤯🤩
(Sidenote: she didn’t say that my choice to wear the purple argyle sweater influenced her decision to approach me, but she didn’t not say that either… so who can ever really know.)
Later that evening I ended up at a group dinner with Jessica and we got to talking about what a future book could look like. About how part of the book could be a memoir and tell the story of Getting Fired —> Starting Sojourn. I also talked about how I really wanted to tackle the clobber passages. You see, at that time there were very few resources on the topic, and I thought a book from my perspective and background (that of a Baptist trained, evangelical pastor) could be really helpful.
A few months went by and Jessica followed up with an email reiterating her desire to work with me. I recently went back over our email exchanges and it would appear that I didn’t respond to her first email for three weeks!
Lol. Good job, past Colby. Way to play hard to get..? 🤦🏻♂️
Eventually I sent her a proposal—something I’d never put together before—and listen to this… when I sent it to her I said in my email, “Oh, and let me know if you’re not interested, so that I can shop this around to others.”
“Shop this around to others,” Colby?! Really? What “others,” exactly? 🤣 I crack myself up. I do not remember why I said that or what my plan (if any) was. I think I was just trying to convey how much I really wanted to write the book. Irrational confidence at its finest.
Anyway, a week later she emailed to say that her colleagues really liked the proposal and, oh yeah, “can you write us a sample chapter before our next meeting in two weeks?”
“Of course,” I said. “I write chapters before breakfast.” (Dear reader, that line did not actually say. Although be honest with me, part of you did have the thought, “Hmm, yeah, I could see Colby responding like that.” Thanks. I feel seen.)
So over the next twelve days I managed to write my first ever chapter for an actual/potential book. I sent it to Jessica, she replied back, “We got a great response at our meeting! We want to move this project forward to the next and final decision in three weeks. Can you write us another sample chapter?”
Another chapter? Again? With naught but a few weeks to do so?
At this point I wondered if maybe the publishing industry is a scam. Maybe publishers just keep asking authors for “sample chapters,” then they take those chapters and make books out of them all by themselves.
Regardless, I felt pot committed at this point. So I cranked out another chapter, sent it in, and three days after that, on June 11th 2015, I opened one of the best emails I’ve ever received in my life.
Hi Colby,
I am pleased to let you know that our team has approved your proposal for UnClobber, and we are putting it on our Fall 2016 list! We think your story and style will really resonate with people, and hope your platform will continue to grow.
Celebrating Ten Years
Next week it will ten years (TEN YEARS!!) since UnClobber was published, and I still can hardly believe it.
I plan on doing something fun to celebrate, so make sure to watch this space.
But today, as I re-tell the story of how a business card changed my life, I’m filled with so much wonder and delight at how life… how God… works.
Think about it:
Getting fired from two churches in two years led to fulfilling a dream of planting a church.
Nervously telling that story on a stage in front of many people led to being approached by an editor at a publishing house.
Writing out my research on the clobber passages led to the publishing of my first book.
And publishing UnClobber has absolutely shaped the course of my life in ways I am still unfolding—including the fact that on November 17th my next book (a follow-up to UnClobber) is releasing!
So I don’t know, maybe the moral of this story is something like: Put yourself out there. Take a risk. Do something new, something brave.
And stay open, because you never know who might cross your path, and you never know where dreams might be hiding.
Turns out, mine were hiding in a business card.
BUT WHAT ABOUT: The Most Asked Questions on Faith, the Bible, and LGBTQ Inclusion
Ten years after UnClobber I’m coming back with my third book and it picks up where UnClobber left off.
If you read UnClobber then you may recall just how narrow the scope was. Meaning, I only addressed the six clobber passages. Which for many people is enough. Once they deal with Genesis 19, Leviticus 18 & 20, Romans 1, 1 Cor 6 and 1 Tim 1, then they’re good!
However, I’ve learned that other people have follow up questions.
Good, reasonable follow-up questions:
But what about Adam & Eve?
But what about God creating two genders?
But what about biblical marriage?
But what about ex-gay stories?
And so on…
So in an effort to continue my 15 year ministry of advocating for full inclusion, and for trying to make the case that the logical conclusion of following Jesus is the full affirmation of LGBTQ people, I’ve written, But What About: The Most Asked Questions on Faith, the Bible, and LGBTQ Inclusion.
It comes out on Nov 17 and you should pre-order it today!