“Colby, you don’t owe anyone anything.”

-My friends these past months when I’ve considered sharing this news.

On the one hand, they’re right. My life is MY life, and no, I do not “owe” the internet info about my private world.

However, you and I DO have a kind of relationship, and that’s real to me. Over the years I’ve granted you access to my heart, mind, and life, and in return you’ve shown me support and encouragement. So I think I do—maybe not “owe,” but whatever is just shy of owing—you this major life update:

Kate and I are separated and getting divorced. I moved out last summer and live with friends in San Diego, still near our kids.

There’s not much to say about the “why.” Even if there was, it’s not for public consumption—thanks for understanding our need for privacy. (But I will say there was no unfaithfulness or anything major that often comes to mind. The Colby you’ve always known is the same Colby, and the Kate you’ve known is the same Kate. We’re just not “Kate & Colby” anymore)

My relationship of 20+ years with Kate was life-giving, transformative, and something I’ll never forget nor regret. I’m proud of the lives we lived, the family we created, and the goodness we poured in the world.

While I’m mourning the loss of a dream, I’m also learning (like never before) what it means to witness the cycle of life, death, and resurrection. Since the new year, I’m starting to see that life can be bright again. Meaningful. Good.

No, this isn’t the Story I thought we were writing. But who knows, perhaps the story will get even better—for all of us.

Thanks to you who’ve walked with me these past six months. If anyone thinks, “Hey, he’s doing not half-bad,” it’s ONLY due to the love and support of you who’ve been my Team.

To any who’ve been with us (Kate & Colby) as co-pastors, or co-podcast hosts, or as friends: it’s been an honor to be in your life. You trusted us with your stories. Thank you. I hope we did right by you.

Finally, I believe the Whole is good.

Therefore I believe that the parts—even when shrouded in fear and pain—will ultimately become pieces of the Whole, and one day ALSO rendered as good.

This is my hope.

This is my prayer.

Thanks for your love and support.